Satirical News And Opinion About MSFT https://validator.w3.org/feed/docs/rss2.html Microsoft Demo Disaster, as Product is Officially Renamed 5 Times During 5 Minute Demo Microsoft and US Government Reach $6 Billion Deal — Includes Free Copilot and Crystal Meth for 1 Year Microsoft Expands Excel AI Formulas With New =LAYOFF() Function In Memo To Employees, CEO Emphasizes Long Term Vision And Short Term Employment As Keys To Success Goldman Sachs CEO: “LinkedIn Acquisition Looking Like Genius Move Now” – Says Microsoft Can Save Money and Make Money on Laid Off Workers Microsoft To Change Copilot Studio Billing From Messages to Credits – Adds Frequent Prompter™ Loyalty Program Microsoft Developer Confuses “Vibe Coding” with Something Entirely Different – Makes AI Powered Vibrator For Its FY26 Secure First Initiative (SFI), Microsoft to be First Company Ever to Initiate Remote Brain Wipes After Termination New Microsoft 365 Copilot “RIF As You Go” License Tier Announced Tech Bromance Between Microsoft And OpenAI On Shaky Ground, As Altman Won’t Share Toys With Nadella During Sleepover Microsoft Abruptly Cancels 4th Quarter Earnings Call Due to “Bulleted List Fiasco”, at Risk of SEC Fines Microsoft Unveils New ARM-Powered Copilot+EBT Card Hardware Platform In Sad News, Clippy Announces He Was Impacted by Recent Layoffs Microsoft Drives Big Vibes In Teaching the Squad AI to Boost the Bag In Cold, Rumsfeldian, AI-Generated Memo to Employees, CEO Satya Nadella Says “Sorry, not Sorry” For Recent Layoffs With Money Saved from Laid Off Employees, Microsoft to Buy $1 Billion Of Human Shit Privacy Policy Waste Management Employee Discovers Bodies of More Undisclosed Laid Off Workers in Redmond Campus Dumpsters Breaking: Major Azure Outage Across All Regions – Rogue Horny Autonomous Agent to Blame Microsoft Shifts Hiring To New Consumption Based “Employees as a Service” Model (EaaS) VP of Developer Community Efforts Scott Hanselman Fired For Writing Email Hisself Microsoft Gives up On Retraining Boomer Employees on AI – Invests $4 Billion in Next Generation Boom Times for Redmond, WA Tattoo Shop After Microsoft Layoffs Microsoft HR Announces New AI-Driven Termination-With-Empathy (TWE) Benefit for Existing Employees CEO Satya Nadella Says All 15000 Recently Laid Off Employees to be Rehired Immediately. Then Says “NOT!” in his Best Borat Imitation Voice At Build 2025, CEO Demos Exciting New Real Time RIF capability (RTRiF) using Copilot Studio Chief Commercial Officer Judson Althoff Announces He Will Take All Future Vacations With Ted Cruz and Family About Us Microsoft Touts Record Low Attendance at Recent Ignite Conference – CCO Says “Proof That AI Efforts Are Working” Executive VP of Cloud Scott Guthrie Says Recent Layoffs Prove Azure Cloud Can Support Firings at Massive Scale Contact Microsoft Demos New AI Workforce Governance Products – Workplace IQ / RIF Control Plane