Looks like Microsoft’s greatest product of all time – Excel – is getting some attention and new features. Just a day after announcing the new =COPILOT() function, Microsoft has unveiled another time-saving innovation: the =LAYOFF() function.
With =LAYOFF(), managers can streamline the tedious process of workforce reduction directly from a spreadsheet. Simply click into any empty cell, type =LAYOFF(), and select the range of employee names you’d like to eliminate. The function will automatically create a new “Layoff Status” column, which updates asynchronously as terminations are processed.
According to Microsoft, =LAYOFF() integrates seamlessly with Entra ID, Teams, and Outlook. As employees are removed, access permissions are revoked in real time, and an auto-generated severance-package email is sent to the employee’s personal email address. If employees have opted in to the Termination-With-Empathy benefit, they will then get a Teams chat session started with RIFBot, the friendly termination agent.
The product lead for Excel said in a blog post:
“=LAYOFF() is the logical next step in AI-driven productivity. We’re excited to help organizations right-size faster, more efficiently, and without the need for messy HR workflows. Just like SUM() and VLOOKUP(), we expect =LAYOFF() to become an everyday essential formula for modern business.”
Pro Tip (from the Excel Blog):
“Want to add a more personal touch? Use =LAYOFF(reason) to include context like ‘AI redundancy’, ‘budget alignment’, or ‘manager discretion.’ The formula will insert these values into the exit email template automatically.”
Easter Egg Discovered
Users experimenting with the new function uncovered an undocumented second parameter that triggers audio clips to play when the termination is complete. So far, the following values have been discovered:
=LAYOFF(A1:A10,0)→ Donald Trump saying “You’re fired!”=LAYOFF(A1:A10,1)→ George Costanza yelling “That’s gotta hurt!”=LAYOFF(A1:A10,2)→ Generic toilet flushing sound=LAYOFF(A1:A10,3)→ Mr Burns: “Excelllent…”=LAYOFF(A1:A10,4)→ Office Space quote: “Samir Naga… Naga… Notgonnaworkhereanymore”=LAYOFF(A1:A10,5)→ Borat Sagdiyev saying: “Great Success!”=LAYOFF(A1:A10,10)→ Randomly selects from the above effects
Known Issues (per release notes):
- You can accidentally delete yourself.
- “Undo” operation will not work after using the
=LAYOFF()function. - Organizations with dotted-line hierarchies are not supported, and can cause endless loop layoffs of the entire org.
Roadmap Features
Coming in Q4: =REORG(), which will automatically reshuffle survivors into new reporting structures based on random number generation and Power BI org charts.